Professor Chaos's revenge?
by randylahey5446
Summary: Butters has been putting up with Cartman's bullying over the years and seeks to take action as his alter ego Professor Chaos. As he plots his revenge with a little help from his friends, the Coon is on a bit of a mission to bush them himself. As all of this is unraveling, there is at least one unexpected love plot going on behind everyone's back..read to find out ;)
1. Butters 25:17

It was a bright, sunny Sunday morning as Butters got out of bed with a smile on his face.

"Today is gonna be a good day and I feel it," Butters said to himself as he walked downstairs for some breakfast. As he flew downstairs to be hit with the blistering aroma of blueberry pancakes. Eagerly moving towards the smell, he is quickly greeted by a tender voice.

"Good morning Butters!" said Mrs. Scotch.

"Hiya ma!"

"I made blueberry pancakes, _you're favorite_ ,"

"Aww geez, thanks mom!"

"No problem," his mom followed up as she walked by and kissed her son on the cheek. "So any plans today sweetie?" Butters thought to himself for a moment and wondered if he had any plans.

"I don't know, maybe I'll just hang out with one of my friends today," Butters replied viciously attacking his pancakes.

"Alright dear, just let me know okay?"

"Yes ma," Butters replied. _Huh, I wonder who I should hang out with today?_ He thought to himself. _Hmm, how about Jimmy? Nah, he's going on vacation with his family so that's a no. There's Craig and Tweek ,but I already went out to Shakey's with them twice this week. Token? Nah. Clyde? Nah. Kenny? nope. It's weird to have so many friends at school and yet have no one to hang out with._ He thought to himself while eating his precious blueberry pancakes.

 _Stan and/or Kyle? Hmm maybe. Gosh, as long as they don't bring that annoying but hole Eric Cartman, he can be such a mean spirit sometimes. He enjoys ruining my day a lot, he's always bullying me and making fun of me. You know what, the next time he makes fun of me, I'm just going to kick him square in the nuts! Yeah, that'll show him._ Butters thought while half way through his precious blueberry pancakes.

 _I'm gonna kick him in the nuts soo hard, that he's going to cry like a little girl. Yes! And as he doused in tears, I'm going to be standing over him laughing at his pain and misery. For I am Professor Chaos, bringer of destruction and maker of doom! The most notorious super villain the world has ever seen. For I am the bane of all that is good in the world and the destroyer of fools who try to thwart me. Those who practice virtue shall be plagued with vice, and those who practice vice shall find virtue in me, and will be deemed righteous in my eyes. Yes, surely! For the path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. AND I WILL STRIKE DOWN UPON THEE, WITH GREAT VENGENE, AND FURRIOUS ANGER, THOSE WHO WILL ATTEMPT TO POISON AND DESTROY MY BROTHERS! AND YOU WOULD KNOW MY NAME IS THE LORD, AND I SHALL LAY MY VENGENCE UPON THEE...wait a minute, what the heck was I thinking about?_ Butters thought to himself as he finished his precious blueberry pancakes. _Oh yeah, I was supposed to text someone or something, huh. OH BOY A TEXT_ he thought to himself as he looked at the text.


	2. Enter Professor Chaos?

Stan and Kyle were walking around Starks pond that morning, wondering what they were going to do today. They were still very groggy from their sleep over from last night and were a bit low in spirits, but one of them had to think of something to do quick before they grew bored.

"Dude, I'm so tired," Stan complained.

"Why did you stay up so late?" Kyle asked.

"I had like so much sugar and went to bed at like, four in the morning. Yet I woke up around eight and I couldn't go back to sleep,"

"Yea, I went to bed at like two and woke up at like seven and the same thing with me," Kyle said, as Stan just nodded his head in agreement. There was a brief silence that followed as neither one of them can think of anything else to say. Both exhausted and tired, they both sat on a bench for a while to settle a bit and regroup from their sugar crazed hangover.

"Wanna know what I feel like doing?" Kyle asked. "What?" Stan wondered.

"For some reason, I just feel like playing super heroes with Butters," said Kyle.

"That's kinda random don't you think?" Stan laughed.

"I dunno, for some reason I'm in the mood to play super heroes right now and Butters is the best for it," Kyle explained.

"Yeah, but what about Kenny or Cartman?"

"Cartman took it way too far last time by summoning the dark lord Chin Tulu, and Kenny kept killing himself off because he 'can't die'-"

"Yeah, like what bullshit. Thank God that Mintberry Crunch kid saved the day, other wise that problem would of never been settled," Stan interrupted.

"Exactly! I just feel like Butters is just the best cut out because he just has the most enthusiasm, without taking the game too far,"

"Yeah but honestly, Butter is a bit of a dweeb. Not that I don't like him, it's just a bit too early for Butters. Maybe in an hour"

"Well, can you text him? I just got a new phone and I don't have his number,"

"Yeah, sure". Stan said taking out his phone to text Butters. He texted Butters, and almost immediately he gets a response. "He just said what's up," Stan said reading the text,"

"Well, what are you waiting for? Tell him to meet us by the pond,"

"Alright, I will dude" Stan replied as he sent a text to Butters to meet them by the pond and bring the professor chaos costume with him in an hour.

 _Oh boy! They want to play super heroes by the pond! Sweet! But, wouldn't it be necessary to do this in someones backyard though, it would look really weird for us to be in our costumes in public. Ah who cares, they wouldn't just have me dressed up in my costume and make me show up looking like an idiot. That would be mean!_ Butters thought as he received Stan's text to meet him at Starks Pond to play super heroes. Despite slight caution, he eagerly ran upstairs to get his Professor Chaos costume and put it on in a heartbeat. As he puts on the costume, he feels a burst of energy through him as if he was ready to take over the world.

"Soon, the hour of Chaos is at hand! Where destruction goes, I will follow!" Professor Chaos roared, practicing in front of a mirror, prepping himself before he goes out to breed destruction. As he is doing this, he receives another text from Stan. The text read 'But we must inform you, that your days of destruction and doom are numbered, Chaos! You will not have your way with us!' The notorious super villain read this text, and laughed and shook his head as he read this text. _These puny weaklings do no stand a chance in heck against me!..._

'You seriously think you fools stand a chance against me? We'll see how long you nitwits can last against me and my minions, in about 15 minutes!'

'IT'S ON!' Toolshed (with Stan being his alter ego) replied to his text.

"Is he coming," Kyle asked.

"Yeah, he'll be here in about 15 minutes," Stan casually replied.

"Sweet," Kyle said, as they sat there and waited for Butters to show up.

 _Soon, I shall arrive at the park. Soon, I shall meet Toolshed and the Human Kite. Soon, they shall meet their doom...The hour of Chaos is at hand, and they will have two options once they are through with me. They will either bow down to me to join me and my minions to create destruction and doom around the world, or they shall meet their fate_ Chaos thought to himself preparing himself for confrontation.

 _Finally, I have arrived_ Professor Chaos thought deep down as Toolshed and the Human Kite were present, but only in the form of their alter egos Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflowski. _Wait, something's not right. Why would they get me to show up in my Professor Chaos costume if they are not in theirs, is it a trap? Are they up to something?_ Butters thought to himself.

"Oh hey Butters," Kyle called from a far. Butters shook his head in confusion, because he thought they would already be in their costumes.

"Butters?! What do you, mean, I'm Professor Chaos bringer of destruction and doom, remember?" Butters said with tone.

"Yeah, we know." Stan said casually, looking at him funny.

"I thought we were gonna play superheroes in the park like you said,"

"No, I said 'we'll be at the park and we'll go to my house and play superheroes or something'. Not 'we're playing superheroes at the park'," Stan recalled.

"Yeah and besides, girls will think we are total dweebs if we play superheroes in front of them, let's be real here," Kyle added.

"Oh, so me, with all this stuff on, makes me look like a total dweeb?" Butters said with a defeated tone.

"Yeahhh. Like if Steve Urkel had a sex change and had a baby with Austin Powers, that baby would look less dweebish than you," Stan said to Butters. As Butters heard this, he felt an overwhelming sense of embarrassment coming over him. He looked around and even saw a pair of fifth grade girls laughing at him. Butters has never felt so bad in a long time.

"Oh...than I guess a total dweeb like me shouldn't be hanging out with guys like you," Butters moaned, as he started to walk off slowly. "Nice job, asshole," Kyle snickered at Stan.

"Ah come on! That's not fair-Butters come back here!" Butters came back to him, but his expression was depressed and even starting to get teary eyed.

"Butters come on dude, don't be a pussy." Stan said trying to cheer him up, Butters just looked away and looked at the ground. "Dude, don't be an asshole," Kyle said to Stan.

"Sorry dude, but if I were Butters right now and my Dad was here, he would say the same thing," Stan argued in defense.

"Well, that's because your dads an asshole,"

"Don't say that about my dad,"

"Well it's true,"

"Oh yeah?!"

"Yeah,"

"Wanna know what else is true?"

"What?"

"That your mom is the biggest bitch in the whole wide world"

"Hey! don't call my mom a bitch!"

"Well, it's true!"

"Oh shut up!"

"Make me, _Jew_ ,"

"I may be a Jew, but I'm not a little bitch,"

"I'm not a bitch, you are,"

"Well, at least I'm not dating one,"

"TAKE THAT BACK!"

"GOTCH YA BITCH!"

 _"_ GUYS, DON'T DO THIS," Butters yelled, bringing the two to a stop.

"Come on dude, we were trying to cheer you up," Stan said.

"Yeah, this is how we cheer people up when they are having a bad day," Kyle added on.

"Who would wanna watch a bunch of guys just argue and curse each other off until they are blue in the face," Butters asked.

"Who wouldn't?" Kyle added on, as Butters shrugged his shoulders in vain agreement. "I guess...but when you guys said I was dweebish, I felt like that-,"

"Dude it's fine, just take off the costume for now and we will hang out with you," Stan interrupted.

"I guess, but I don't think we are on the same page," Butter said lowering his head. Stan and Kyle knew something was up with their friend Butters. They never expected him to be so glum for a personality so bright.

"Well then tell us," Kyle said to Butters, who drew a heavy sigh and regrouped himself a bit.

"Alright. I know I overreacted but it's just, I feel like none of you guys ever take me seriously. I get that I can be like, a bit dorky sometimes, but sometimes I just feel embarrassed by being seen as that dorky kid. Like if we were all hanging out and we all got bored and people were bringing up suggestions on what to do and I said something, people would tell me to shut the heck up. Or I ever tried to ask out a girl at one point, I feel like she would laugh at me and say no because I'm just a dumb ol goofball. I know it sounds kinda stupid and trivial, and I hate to be a buzzkill by saying something sad like this, but I just feel like no one ever takes me seriously. And to be honest, it really hurts my feelings sometimes..." Butters whimpered, and lightly started to cry as Kyle and Stan looked at each other clueless on what to do.

"Butters, let's face it you're a dweeb. But that doesn't mean you have to be so down on yourself," Stan said as he put his right arm on his shoulder.

"Yea, and part of the reason why we like you so much is well, because you _are_ kind of a dweeb sometimes," Kyle added on as Butters looked up at him.

"Yeah, sure we occasionally pick on you, but we do that to everyone. We just do it because it's just fun picking on you, in like a good way," he explained. "Huh?" Butters responded in a confused tone.

"Alright, first off, usually if we ask someone to hang out and start crying like the way you did, we would just bail right away." Kyle said as he noticed a slight suspicion in his tone.

"So why didn't you bail on me?"

"Because Butters, you're like the nicest person we know and you never give us shit. And we would never do that to you because you always are a punching bag, sort of," Stan tried to explain, as Kyle shakes his agreement.

"So you're saying that I should stand up for myself more? But wait, is the reason why you guys hang out with me is because I never stand up for myself, and you want me to do that more so you don't have to be around a dweeb like me? And you guys just want me to stand up for my self just so you guys can stop hanging out with me?!" Butters said in an elevated tone.

"No dumbass! If we were dicks like that, then why would we invite you to hang out with to play super heroes, and then even after you nearly cried, we still didn't bail?" Kyle said. "Look dude, this is very hard for us to explain dude! I'm sorry that we came off a little harsh but you are a dweeb sometimes, and we just rip on you for that like how we rip on Cartman for being fat, me being a Jew, Kenny for being poor, and Craig for being sexually attracted to boys," Kyle explained.

"Aww, well that did make me feel a lot better, thanks fellas! But umm, Craig?"

"Oh, Cartman started a rumor that Craig was gay for Tweek and said that he saw them making out with some dude with curly hair,"

"Yeah but, I don't think that's funny, what if he's actually a homosexual? Like he told me he was making out with Bebe a few days ago and that Clyde took a video," Butters said.

"DUDE HE TOOK A VIDEO? NO WAY," Kyle exclaimed. "I swear to God, I'll show you the text too," Butters said as he opened up his phone to a phone chat with Craig. See it reads 'nigga dnt beliv me, clyide tuk a vid of me an bebe makin ot, bt idk if he deletd the vid'",

"Wow, I forgot how retarded he wrote when he texted people," said Kyle. "I don't get why he always says 'nigga' like that, like just because you're friends with the only black kid in south park, it doesn't make you cool when you say it," Butters added on.

"No way, I have to ask Wendy to ask Bebe about this," Stan said taking out his phone to find out if this is true or not. "Let's all crash at your place Kyle, your house is the closest and I'm still hung over. So I could use a little break,"

"You're telling me," Kyle responded. "Hey, did I mention that I also thought about kicking Eric in the nuts because he's the biggest meanie of them all?" Butter said thinking about what he thought of before he went out this morning.

"Dude, we all do. But we will actually pay $20 if you actually just run up to him, and just kick his balls into next week," Kyle said enthusiastically. "Oh boy! That'll show him," Butters followed up.

"But it has to be in front of us, on video, and when you do kick him in the nuts, you have to scream 'WORLDSTARR'," Stan added. "Deal! But can we hang out for a few hours before we do such a thing, I just want to hang out for a bit,"

"Butters, you don't have to do it today or at all, we were just kidding," Stan explained.

"But if I do it today, followed by everything you said, can I get $20?" Butters smirked. "DUDE, OF COURSE!" Stan exclaimed in excitement as he looked over at Kyle. "But as long as Kyle chips in half,"

"I'll throw in an extra five if he does it on camera!" he laughed expressively.

"Neato!" Butters yelled in excitement. _Yippie!_ _Finally I could get my revenge on Cartman for being a complete asshole!_ he thought to himself with a huge smile on his face. _But it's nice to know that Stan Kyle like me for who I am and not just as a punching bag. Of course I'm a goofball, a wingnut, or a knuckle head mcspazatron, but most of all, I'm just a kid_ (If you didn't get that refrence, you childhood sucked more balls than a gay porno, I'm sorry but you fucking missed out). _And I have imperfections like everyone else and now more than ever I can accept them. And the really cool thing is, is that I know that Stan and Kyle accept them too..._


	3. Bitches ain't shit but hoes and trix

It was a casual Saturday morning, as Cartman got out of bed tired and groggy.

"Jesus, what time is it?" he complained, sluggishly getting out of bed wiping the crust out of his eyes. "Goddamn it's late," softly moaning as he saw it was already 11:30. Ughh, today is just going to be crap and I know it he thought as he walks down the stairs slowly. When he arrives downstairs, he is greeted by a nagging voice.

"Hello my little sunshine," said the voice, as Cartman grabs a bowl of Cheerios and takes a seat by the table. "Hey mom," he muttered vaguely, drowning his cereal in milk as he digs into his breakfast.

"How's my little poopsy-woopsy?" she said pinching his cheeks and smiling at him. "AH! Don't do that mom, that HURTS!" He complained as he escaped the hold his mother put him in. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," she replied as Cartman took his bowl of cereal and went towards the living room. "Damn right you're sorry you godamn-cock sucking- wall humping-chesseburger eating-walrus looking motherfucking fat-ass weeabo bitch," he whispered to himself.

"ERIC THEADORE CARTMAN, YOU GET RIGHT OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!" Mrs. Catman yelled, as her son slowly walked towards her. Oh crap! I'm totally fucked now, oh God what do I do? Know what, just calm the hell down, there should be a way out of this.

"One of your little friends is on the phone and wants to talk to you," Mrs. Cartman giggled. "Goddamnit mom, you scare me every time," Cartman hissed as he picked up the phone. "What do you want,"

"Hello Cartman?" a shy timid voice answered, unfamiliar to Cartman. "Who the hell is?"

"It's Dougie, General Disarray,"

"What do you want?"

"Well, I heard from Butters that you guys were playing super heroes and stuff, so I was wondering if I could join you guys?"

"Who?!"

"Stan, Kyle, Butters, and maybe Kenny. They didn't invite you?"

"...apparently they pulled a Kim Mathers and decided to cheat on me with Professor Bitchface, so no."

"Who?"

"You don't know you Kim Mathers is?" Cartman held the phone over his palm and gave his mom a look. "Oh my GOD, this kid doesn't even know who fucking Kim Mathers is! Laammme,"

"Awwww sweeite, I guess some people just want to watch the world burn to the ground,"

"I fucking know right? Goddamn Weeaboo hippies and their anime porn," Catman muttered, putting his hand away from the phone.

"If the other guys are out there, umm perhaps we could meet them where they are at maybe?" Dougie suggested, as Cartman drew a heavy sigh.

"Kid, no offense but, you're a dweeb,"

"So?"

"You don't know who Kim Mathers is,"

"I've heard the name sorta, but I j-just don't get what she has to do with this,"

"Hello, dumbass, they cheated on me with Butters like how she cheated on Marshall, have you ever heard the song Kim?"

"Who's Marshall?"

"JESUS CHRIST!"

"...I'm confused,"

"...I'm so fucking had it up to here with your bullshit! No more shenanigans, no more Tom Foolery, no more Baley hoo- OH, I BET YOU WONT GET THAT REFRENCE TOO YOU UNCULTURED FUCK!"

"Well you know what, screw you dude-,"

"Relax, chill, I'm just breaking your balls dude. Just tell me why you called and I will shut the hell up, Jesus Good will Hunting no? You suck dude,"

"...I just wanted to maybe talk to you about something," Dougie said, as Cartman paused and thought to himself for a moment.

"Look kid, if you wanna hang out I'm cool with that. I'm not a lame asshole like everyone else, but I don't ca-,"

"It's about Wendy, Wendy Testaburger," Dougie said hastily.

"Hmm, what about her?"

"I know this might sound really messed up, and I know she's with Stan, but you always been cool to me so I feel like I could tell you, but...umm, I just w'wanna chance with her, you know. It's like not fair because I always liked her longer than Stan did, but never had a chance with her. I dunno, even if I get turned down or beat up I just want a chance with her, I don't care what happens, I just want her to know how I feel as stupid as that sounds,"

"But dude, Wendy's a bitch. Bitches ain't shit but hoes and trix, you know that right?"

"Dude, please can you do something for me," Dougie pleaded, as Cartman thought long and hard how he could use this information to his advantage...

"You know what, even though you're kind of a dweeb and what not, at least you're not a lame asshole like buttbuddies Stan and Kyle. And I'll think of a way to text you in the meantime, to help your uhh, situation or whatever,"

"Thanks Cartman, I could always count on you," Dougie said exuberantly.

"No problem, it's all whatever," Cartman said hanging up the phone.

 _Hahaha, sucker..._


	4. Chapter 4

During that day, General Disarray and the Coon meet up at Disarrays residence a few blocks over. They planned to meet there for a few hours to discuss confidential matters. And after such matters, they planned to do a certain ambush on Professor Chaos for ditching them. This was a perfect setting, for they were home alone so they can have no fears of being spied on or nagged on by Mrs. Cartman.

"Should we communicate with Butters by cellular device, or online," General Disaray asked. "Eh, do whatever floats your boat, don't overthink it," the Coon replied casually eating cheesy poofs and drinking grape soda.

 _Ugh, should I bring it up? I know that this is the time to do it. It's not like I'm going to do it in front of Stan and Kyle, I mean like really. But like what if he just tells them what I said about her...well, I already told him over the phone, so I really got nothing to loose here_ he thought to himself, nervously twiddling his thumbs.

"Sure, but just uh, nevermind it's stupid," the general shook his head, too nervous to bring it up.

"I know right?! It's so stupid how Stan and Kyle always do this. It's like we have been friends since the start, and now they are replacing me with Butters. It's retarded!" Coon said with tone in his voice. "But you know, Fuck 'em. Kyle's a corrupted Jew and Stan's just absolutely gay for Wendy _and Kyle_ , and Butters apperently. Like even though I don't bat for that side of the team, if I were Stan, I'd be gay for _me._ Like only a absolute homo wouldn't want me bad, don't you think?" The Coon asked, as General Disarray felt the odd turn in the conversation.

"Umm, yes?"

"Exactly,"

"So you saying that if I didn't like you, I would be gay," he asked with a confused look.

"Yeah..so do you?"

"Umm, sure?"

"HAHAHAHA, you're soo queer," Cartman said laughing, downing his drink and shaking his head in amusement.

"Yeah but, if I didn't like you, that makes me gay. But if I "liked' you, I'm just flat out gay,"

"That's the point retard,"

"I don't think that should be a bad thing though, like people are born like that,"

"And some people are born poor, disabled, Jewish, Republican, and you even got your tree humping-whale-fucking-liberal-femmanazis known as, _Wendy_. There are all sorts of gay people in the world." The Coon slyly said, striking an odd chord inside of General Disarray.

From suspicion, to bitter tension, The General started to get tense after he mentioned ' _Wendy'_ in the denouncing tone he used it in. It was not really the political stance that he's taking that is bothering The General, but it was more of _how_ he was saying. Cartman's intention seemed to The General was not necessarily to be politically correct and use Wendy as an example, but to mock Wendy by being politically correct for the sake of frustrating him.

But General Disarray knew deep down, that he couldn't just let him get away with making fun of her like that. He felt that in order to show his love for Wendy, he had to prove it to her by being brave and standing up for her.

"Yea but your using the term 'gay' as a negative term like 'snot nose', or 'but-face' like it has no meaning except for a term to insult people. So you are basically denouncing millions of homosexuals around the world by using that term." He fired back.

 _Yeah, That'll show him, Wendy would be soo proud of me for using over the top liberal tactics to guilt someone into admitting they are wrong_ he thought, underestimating the Coon's superior wit and persuasiveness.

"And see, this is why you are retarded. If I call you a fag or a queer, I didn't say anything about homosexuals in general, I'm just doing it because I'm just ripping on you for fun. You see, I'm not spreading any hate, I'm just busting your balls. You on the only hand are being an overdramatic-tree-humping-liberal-hippie-little-bitch about it, because you're the one saying that I am dehumanizing people when technically you are, because you are saying I am, so therefore you are saying that they are incapable for being ripped on because they can't handle it. Which is funny because I'm not targeting anyone or spreading hate, I'm just messing with you,"

"Yeah but, it's just the way you said it..."

"Who the fuck cares dude, I just called you gay, I didn't say it's a bad thing. Even if I said it was like out of joke, that doesn't mean I am. Like if I said 'I'm going to fucking Keyser Söze on your ass and kill everyone you love', I'm not going to do that. And like if I said 'your such a fucking homo', I'm saying you are gay, or even if you were that it is bad, I'm just doing it out of jest you pussy. "

"...not would Wendy would say,"

"What _would_ she say," The Coon asked, taking General Disarray's frustration and intensity to a whole other level. His heart raced, his adrenaline pumped, and his hands were clenched in a fist and were ready to unload right through the Coons skull...But Disarray knew better and took a huge breath to try and regroup himself and hold back his anger.

"That was rhetorical asshole, and what you said, and especially how you said it. Just s-s-so, _ignorant_! You're just being a complete asshole and you know it!"

"Yes good General Disaray, _use the hate to flow through you, feel it_ ," Catman mocked and laughed as General Disaray grew angry and feed up with him.

"You know what, why can't you stoped being such a smart ass for once and actually learn to be decent and nice for once?"

"Because being decent and nice is for stupid gaywads with no personality, duh,"

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, Y-YOU FUCKING FATASS FUCKING PIECE OF, F-FSH-SHIT!" General Disaray yelled at him, breathing heavily as his face grew scarlet red. "Whoa dude...calm down. Look if you're _actually_ a flaming homosexual on the inside,-"

"SHUT UP!" He yelled with all of his might, stomping his foot on the floor as he punched the wall as loud as he could.

This made Dougie break down completely, and a stream of tears started to run down his face.

What bothered Doogie the most, was that he felt like a failure. Not the tyoe of failure that strikes out in the bottom of the ninth inning or fails the end of the year final. Yet it was a deeper sense of failure that not only broke his heart, but tore at his _will_. More specifically, his will to peruse Wendy and confront all those who may go against him and everything that might go wrong. He felt like he could trust Cartman and go through, but now not only right now he despises him for being an asshole, but for himself for even trusting him...

 _I can't believe this asshole. First he invites me over to plan on playing a friendly game with Butters and the guys, and now he is tearing me apart. What the hell is his problem?! Know what, fuck him. I don't need him for anything_

"...fuck you, I'm going home," Dougie said in a more settled tone, leaving him in his basement.


	5. WUBALUBADUBDUB!

**Hey guys, it's been a while! I lost inspiration for this story a long while ago (my apologies to the followers and special thanks for the reviewers and the small amount of support I received), but I just thought of a perfect way to end it (you guys might hate me a bit, but I think the ending is good)**

Doug felt a sense of grief overwhelm him when he woke up. It was around noon, and he knew that today the day that was going to make or break him.

 _Well, today is the day_ he thought to himself, as he forced himself out of bed. _Today I'm going to profess my love for Wendy_ he thought to himself, looking around for his glasses.

It's been a few months since that argument with Eric, and he has put things behind him. He hasn't talked to many people since then, and decided to keep a low profile. He feels that he became stressed over Eric's bullying and his crush over Wendy, so he wanted to take some time to focus on himself for a while.

But lucky for him, he got paired up with Wendy for a science project. The great thing about this project, was that this project required for each pair to meet outside school grounds for the completion of this assignment. This gave Doug the opportunity to be able to start to talk to her and get to know her.

And even luckier for him, she was everything that he had expected her to be. She was smart, funny, compassionate, and very passionate about the things that she cared about. As Doug's expectations were being fulfilled, Wendy even found a pretty good companion for herself too.

She appreciates how kind Dougie is, despite him being a bit shy. Yet, unlike Butters, he didn't feel like he needed to force his kind hearted personality to won someone over in a conversation. Dougie was simply, well, just genuinely nice. He was nice, polite, and yet wasn't so awkward in being this way. He had a pleasant aura surrounding him that most people lacked.

On top of that Wendy is glad to find a new friend who served as a distraction from her breakup with Stan.

Bringing up the details of the breakup always bothered her, so she just tries her best not to think about it.

* * *

Dougie was getting dressed and doing his best to emotionally prepare himself for what he planned to do.

 _Just tell her how you feel. What could go wrong? If she rejects you, being friendzoned isn't the worst thing in the world, right?_ Dougie thought to himself, taking a deep breath. He planned to meet her at her house at 2 so they could work on the project. It was an hour after noon at this point, as he leaves his house so he could walk there and make it one time.

Usually he would be taking a ride there, but he discussed how he didn't mind walking, so his mom didn't have to worry about carpooling to work that morning.

A stream of relentless thoughts rapidly swished over his consciousness like a running current. He did his best to quench his anxieties by thinking of best possible outcomes that could come out of the situation, however, that only made him more excited to ask out Wendy. His adrenaline would just continue to pump like a factory machine, until his body needed to recover, just so it could start pumping more adrenaline into his system.

He even started to suffer a stomach ache from his nervousness, making the walk even more painful and agitating.

* * *

Finally arriving at her house, he timidly rang the door bell.

 _This is it Dougie, you're finally a man_ he smiled to himself, converting all the negative energy into rejuvenated confidence.

Yet nearly soiled himself when Wendy appeared at the door.

"Hey!"

"Hey," he said sheepishly, almost being awkward.

"Well, come on in! Don't be shy!"

"Well, there's something I wanna ask you?"

"Aw, what is it?" Wendy grinned, noticing Dougie blushing.

"...well, uh,"

"Do youuu, wanna be something?" she teased.

"Haha, well sorta,"

"What is it?" Wendy asked enthusiastically, encouraging him to follow though with what he was going to say.

"Well, do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"Of course!" Wendy cried, embracing Dougie with all of her might. "I've been waiting for weeks for you to asking me out, I'm so glad you finally did it!"

"Well it wasn't easy," he laughed, looking away from her timidly. "There's just so much I wanna say, and I feel so relieved and happy right now, and, uhhh-,"

"Let's talk more inside shall we?"

"Sure," Dougie answered, as Wendy took him by his hand and lead him inside.

But suddenly, a giant space ship crash landed into South Park and killed everyone instantly. Then the culprits stepped out of a greenish portal where Dougie and Wendy stood, to set eyes on the destruction they have done.

"RICK! OH MY GOD RICK! WHAT THE HELL HAVE DONE!?"

"Morty, *belches* stop being such a cry baby and just accept that it was your fault,"

"WHAT?! HOW IS IT MY FAULT?"

"Well, it was _you're_ stupid idea to open a portal to another dimension so the ship, instead of reaching a scrap pile to another realm, had to be crash-landed into another dimension. So _you're_ the one who killed these innocent people Morty *belches*, not _me,_ "

"YOU TOLD ME TO DO SOMETHING RICK AND I PANICKED! EVEN AFTER I SAID I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO CONTROL THE PORTAL GUN, YOU TOLD ME TO SHOOT ANYWAY, _YOU'RE_ THE REAL CULPRIT RICK! YOU CAN'T JUST PUSH THE BLAME ONTO OTHER PEOPLE. IT'S WRONG!"

"Alright than tell me Morty; who is the one who insisted on using the portal gun in case of an emergency in the first place. And on top of that, who is the one who shot it, and had the ship go through it and kill everyone here,"

"ME, B-,"

"Exactly," Rick sneered at Morty. "Besides, I don't know why you aren't proud of yourself right now Morty. Besides, you just saved plenty of lives on your home planet by making that decision. If you didn't make that decision, that ship would of crash landed to Earth and killed a lot of people. What you did was heroic,"

"HEROIC?! RICK, I-uhh, I think I'm going to be sick," Morty moaned, vomiting violently at the ground at the horrid sight before his eyes. As he stared at his mess, he nearly became sick again at what was under his puke.

"...oh my God, sweet Jesus in Heaven, Rick!"

"Now what?"

"...children. I just vomited on children,"

"Really?! You got to be shitting me," Rick rushed over enthusiastically. "Whoa Morty! This is absolutely savage, you know that right? Oh man, you know how in school you learned about how the Native Americans would skin people alive and cut out people's intestines before there very eyes *belches". Well, it's not quite that, but damn Morty, you really got me this time I gotta say," Rick laughed, giving a father-son like pat on the back out of appreciation. Rick soaked in this moment pridefully, seeing his grandson grow up to be a ruthless explorer of the universe. Not caring about the morals and ethics by making bold statements.

Even though Rick struggled to see what statement Morty was trying to make, he still appreciated the barbaric nature in the way that he expressed himself.

"...Rick,"

"What is it my boy? Do you want to rip off their limps and gouge their eyeballs to sell to the black market?"

"Rick!"

"What, I'm just saying. Just look at their physical completion, it's almost completely two dimensional, don't you know much their body parts would sell if we put these babies on the black market? It's like they're not even organisms Morty, it's almost as if somebody thought them up with a figment of their imagination, brought it to life, and accounted it for an entire species of man-like creatures. Their design is genius Morty, don't you understand?"

"RICK! That's not what I was going to say,"

"Well, what were you gonna say,"

"Rick, can't you see...they died in eachothers arms. They look happy, and we took it away from them," Morty lamented, getting emotional over his statement. Rick couldn't think of a way to respond to something that sappy, all he could do is roll his eyes and wait for Morty to follow up with his statement.

"You know Rick, even though they had a quick, and very painful death, they look so happy. It's just relieving to see in the mist of something so chaotic and harsh, to see something to beautiful and priceless. They were probably in love, and what better way to die than to be in the arms of the one you love," Morty said, with a tear rolling down his cheek. A sense of relief came over Morty as he was finally able to accept the harsh reality that occurred with a beautiful gesture of love before his very eyes.

Upon the first sight of the casualties that the two caused, Morty felt petrified as he did guilty in committing this mass destruction. But he was able to recognize that this was ultimately out of his control. There was nothing he could of done to avoid the impending destruction. He could of either let the ship crash onto earth and killed millions of people, or could of limited the damage by sacrificing a couple of hundred on another planet.

Sure, nobody deserved this type of fate, yet Morty was only able to do what he could to limit the damage. Knowing this, Morty felt like he could finally rest easy knowing that he only did the best that he could do.

"...Morty, that was the stupidest shit I ever heard," Rick frowned, ruining Morty's moment.

"Wow Rick, geez, that was kinda harsh,"

"I mean, I get that you feel bad for what you did and all, but it's not you really gave a shit about these people in the first place. Yeah, it's too bad what happened, but that's just a part of life,"

"What's a part of life?"

"I mean, you know what *belches* I mean. Just things Morty, _things_ _!_ Shit happens man, I don't really know what to tell you man. Just don't worry about it, relax,"

"Don't worry about what?"

"I don't know Morty! Anything, I don't give a shit! I'm just trying to start a conversation with you, don't ask me these deep philosophical questions I don't know about,"

"But I dunno, aren't you supposed to be really smart or something?"

"Yeah, when it comes to hard science and shit that actually matters! I'm really philosophical or psychological or anything,"

"Yeah, but aren't those fields required for, um, I don't know but, smart?"

"Morty, you mean that I would have to study the way that some jackass's think about complex and intricate problems with long-winded opinions and bullshit?"

"...that's kind of a dick thing so say, don't you think,"

"Whatever, let's just get the hell out of here and watch the new season of South Park,"

"Yeah, good idea Rick," Morty said, as the two went home and did what Rick suggested.

 **YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I WANTED TO END A STORY LIKE THIS, PLEASE DON'T FEEL BAD IF YOU WERE EXPECTING SOMETHING ELSE!**

 **But on the other hand, this story was from a while back, and since I lost a lot of motivation to continue it, I thought it would be funny to have this nice little Rick and Morty cameo at the end.**

 **However if you are looking for a more serious South Park fic from me, I'm planning to update and edit "Cringey Love Story". I feel like despite the decent story in that, I feel like the ending narrations were forced (like most of my SP fic lol! I mean, it was my introduction to this site and I feel like I had trouble expressing the type of story I wanted to tell. And instead of having a good story with clever humor and passable story telling, I didn't feel satisfied about the end product, so I decided to vent with amazingly terrible shit posts I had a lot of fun with instead of forcing emotions out of myself (which I still joyously dabble in, hell I think I gotten better at it...well :/)**

 **That's enough rambling about myself, I just felt like opening up a bit since it's been forever since I have some stories in this fandom with some followers, and I feel like explaining myself a bit so people could get an idea of how I have been feeling and why I haven't been updating.**

 **Thanks for reading , and maybe I'll be posting a couple things here until I go on another hiatus! (Shout outs to any haters out there giving me lols, it's much appreciated XD)**


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